I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
