Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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