You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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