the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
