You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize