Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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