in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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