On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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