we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize