Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
