Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
