if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
