i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
