Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
