First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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