as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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