Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
