I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
