You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
