the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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