After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
