So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
