I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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