it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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