No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
