Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
