dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
