I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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