You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
