I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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