So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
