Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
