are you still at the devil's house?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My vagina is very pro this idea
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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