Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are my feet made of real feet?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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