dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
