White coat. Heels.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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