he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
