Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
