That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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