therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
