Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
