called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
