Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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