so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm both gender and math confused
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
