Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
