I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
