Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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