Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize