I want to have your abortion
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
