We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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