just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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