I want to walk on stilts...naked
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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