I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
