If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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