so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
