if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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