I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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