I'm drive I can fine osifer
I need to stop coming to work sober
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
