so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
