Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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