We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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