Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
