Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
