i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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