I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
