I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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