i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
