I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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