All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
