it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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