yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love having hate sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
