This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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