We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
