Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
