i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
